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I DON’T NEED A GIRLFRIEND – I NEED A WOMAN FRIEND

We all get that we need girlfriends. But do we get that we also need women friends? We need women that are older than us, who can give us advice, support, and prayer. I defer to my friend Katherine.

Katherine and I were thrown together because she was the President of our women’s group at church and I was the Vice President. We met under formal circumstances but immediately connected. Katherine had a daughter-she didn’t need another one. I had a mom-I didn’t need another one. And yet, we filled gaps in each other’s lives.

Katherine shared details of her life that she didn’t feel comfortable sharing with her kids. She was a widow. She loved her husband very much, but she was actually enjoying being by herself. She loved that she could spend three hours sipping coffee and reading her Bible. She loved that she could choose the TV shows she wanted to watch in the afternoon. She received great satisfaction in eating a bowl of cereal for dinner and didn’t have to cook. Katherine could share these tidbits with me because I could hear them and not think these joys meant she didn’t miss her husband. I was oftentimes jealous-I would love to eat a bowl of cereal for dinner, or spend three hours sipping coffee (and reading the Bible yes too, but that three hours of no one needing me just seemed divine….)

I shared with Katherine too. I shared that I felt like the worst mom in the world because I whacked my son’s head on the doorframe as I was rushing through it to get him in his crib. I confessed giving my kids Lunchables because they had cheese and semi-meat and they were so quick and easy. I just loved Katherine-she didn’t judge me. She didn’t tell me how to fix my life. She just listened. Then she counseled. I loved my mom but sometimes it’s just easier to confess my failings to someone I’m not trying to prove I’m successful or happy or complete. Does that make sense?

I have a Katherine now in my life-she’s actually my mother-in-law. I am truly blessed as she fills that gap in my life. She has two daughters-she doesn’t need another one. And yet she is always willing to share a cup of coffee and some time to listen to me share my failings and my fears and my shortcomings.

I think we all need a Katherine in our lives. Do you have one in yours? Please comment below and tell me about her-I’d love to know!

I try to find a lesson to be learned in all my past deeds. I think for this post I’d have to say that once Katherine moved in with her daughter and we lost touch, I wished I’d tried harder to find someone to take her place. I don’t think I realized how much she meant to me. I just realized I was missing something.

Please comment and let me know your thoughts on this post. Do you have a Katherine in your life? Please let me know.

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