I remember introducing my boyfriends to my parents as no big deal. I remember meeting the boyfriend’s parents and being a little nervous but not much. Now that the shoe is on the other foot, so to speak, I have been incredibly nervous both times I have met my younger son’s girlfriends.
The first girlfriend lasted his junior and senior years of high school, and partway into his freshman year of college. I’d known her since fifth grade when Cameron started there, so it wasn’t an official introduction. It was more of our son letting us know that the relationship had moved from friends to more than friends and she would be spending more time at our house. I changed from Pretty Chill Mom to Interrogation Mom, mostly because I felt I had more responsibility now. In addition to my duties of ensuring he grew up into a responsible adult, I was now tasked with molding him into a good boyfriend/future husband. I mean, I always knew that was part of the job, but here it was staring me in the face. Also of course I had more potential situations to keep me up at night-those possible romantic situations that could have lifetime consequences.
Fortunately, I knew her mom so we texted back and forth frequently, trying to make sure stories were matching up and that she felt my son was being a good kid at her house. It was a walk in the park compared to College GF, let me tell you.
We met College GF the spring of our son’s freshman year. I was so nervous that I wanted to cancel our lunch. I had heard so many tragic stories of horrific girlfriends who turned into wives and the young man’s family never saw their grandchildren. Yes, I know this was just a girlfriend, but my son doesn’t casually date. We have taught him to choose someone to date as someone he would marry. So the fact that we were meeting this young lady meant that she was special to him.
The meeting began smoothly and my nerves settled down. There were no alarm bells as the conversation continued, and I could see she genuinely cared for my son. He was over the moon for her without a doubt. I was mentally keeping a Pro’s and Con’s list in my head, and the Pro’s column was definitely adding up fast. My son has two tattoos which drive me crazy, so I couldn’t be upset over her one small tattoo on her wrist. I loved the clothes she was wearing and began to wonder if they might look good on someone 30 years older.
They met in CRU, a nationwide Christian college organization and had begun attending church together. They had many of the same friends and spent their free time as much with friends as they did each other. I knew I needed to see the bigger picture and not expect her to be the person I thought she needed to be. She needs to be the person God wants her to be.
We exchanged phone numbers and I admit I talk to her more than I talk to my own child. She always responds with wonderful paragraphs full of adjectives-as opposed to my son who sends a thumbs up emoji most of the time. Ahhh, the differences between men and women!
I don’t know what God has in store for these two kids, but I do know that they are seeking His will in all that they do. A mom can’t really ask for more than that, can she? Okay well yes she can, but she shouldn’t. She needs to shut up and thank God for this wonderful girl He has put in her son’s life. I just texted this sweet girl to verify exactly when we met and how long she’s been dating my son. Again, a quick reply with adjectives. I love this girl!
I find a lesson to be learned in all my past deeds. I think in this case I should have prayed more and worried less. That is so easy to type and so hard to follow.
Please comment and let me know about your experiences meeting the GF or BF. I’d love to hear them!