When children are young they want to tell you all about their lives. Unfortunately their lives aren’t all that interesting and you’ve been with them for most of the day so you already know everything. As children get older their lives get more interesting and you don’t spend as much time with them so you want to know what’s going on. There’s the irony-they don’t want to tell you about their lives anymore.
The majority of mom training is on the job training, and that’s what makes us so skilled. We learn to think on our feet, devise quick options for a sudden problem, and can pull amazing items out of our mom purses. We have to adapt as our children grow and change, and one adaptation I acquired is Mom Interrogation Techniques.
The trick is to trap only one child in the car at a time using any means necessary. My favorite method was bribery, as in “Let’s run through the drive thru at Sonic on the way home and get ice cream for just the two of us”. I defer to your personal mom expertise though, as every situation is different and calls for specific tactical plans. The ultimate goal though is to trap your child in your car so that he or she is forced to spend at least fifteen minutes with you. I assure you this method of trapping is legal in 49 states. If you live in California then I recommend not getting caught.
Once you have your child in the car you have to rely on your finely honed mom interrogation skills. Again, every child is different so you have to be crafty yet careful. My oldest does not like to talk about himself, so I would focus on his friends. Tell me about Parker-what’s going on in his life? While telling me about Parker my kid would naturally share information about himself. I tell you-this on the job training is tough but rewarding!
My youngest is more forthcoming about his life-he just needs a little prompting. I paid close attention to everything he said and asked follow up questions on areas he was a little vague. I always told him at the end of the ride I appreciated that he shared his life with me-this kid likes to feel valued and appreciated.
Be sure and always ask open ended questions. Don’t ask How was your day? Instead, say Tell me one good thing that happened to you today. Why was that so good?
As with all things Mom, there are no guarantees trapping your kid will yield a stronger bond. But then again, it is legal in most states so how can it hurt?
I find a lesson to be learned in all my past deeds. Some days I didn’t try to connect with my kids because I was tired and in a mood. Sometimes I felt I was going to face a wall because my kid was tired and in a mood. I wish now thought that I would have tried anyway.
Please comment and let me know how you connect with your kids. I’d love to hear them!